sCARED!!!!!

 

“I’m scared.”

This was not said in a loud voice. This was not said with a trembling timbre of voice. This was said almost as a plaintive plea. One that said I should pay attention. It was said quietly and with forlorn. It surprised me because I thought I’d outgrown this emotion long ago.

What a foolish thought.

Thinking, saying, or feeling scared (afraid) is not something to be overlooked. Fear is real. It begs us to tread carefully into or through whatever we foresee or perceive as dangerous. Children know this well. Sometimes, they don’t say anything except to crouch or hold tightly to a close hand or leg. They often scream out, emitting a piercing sound that cannot be ignored. But other times, in the quiet of their very being, they will softly say how scared they are. Terrified and petrified into silence, they tell you this is so.

But when I heard this—I flinched. Uncomfortable with what to do or how to handle the situation before me. Adults should know what to do, right? Adults should understand where fear comes from, rational or not…sometimes. I didn’t.

It is tempting to laugh. But laughter, in that instance, was inappropriate. Observing closely, it can be easy to discern the cause of fear. Be it walking into a dark room, sleeping alone, traveling by oneself, public speaking, and so on. But none of these applied.

Then I understood.

The fear was standing alone, without visible support or encouragement that said, “You’re going to be fine.” The fear of walking a path not taken before is terrifying. It can scare the bejesus out of the most courageous of us. The knees shake, the mouth quivers, the palms sweat and some autonomic bodily functions tend to fail spectacularly. Sleep is elusive as we lie awake in the grip of fear. Or causes us to wake from a nightmarish dream.

This undeniable dread crept up when hearing the words said in a small voice, “I’m scared.” As stated earlier, I could not ignore this. The child in all of us tends to say these words occasionally. As adults, we should know how to tackle such instances, but to our dismay, there usually is no child to comfort. There is no child to shush, calm, or protect. There is no child to reassure—only ourselves.

That was me.

So many times, I’ve wondered about this beast and how much respect I have for it. Fear does have its benefits, but it can be detrimental when it cripples or prevents us from exploring who we are or how we can be our best selves. When we stand alone in something, to tell ourselves we’ll be “just fine” is good, but at what cost? Will we trip, fall, be battered, bruised, or rise triumphantly? Eventually, whatever we endeavor to do, regardless of the consequences, the question remains…, is it worth the willingness to try?

For a fulfilling life, my answer is—maybe, probably, and in the end, hell, yes.

~DaMarie

 

 Photo Courtesy of Mel Wasser