The Dark Side of Fandom - The Insidious Stalker ~ DaMarie's Blog

The Dark Side of Fandom – The Insidious Stalker

It seems that public figures, i.e., anyone in the public eye, including high-profile individuals, video influencers, fashion designers, actors, music performers, and, yes, even authors, encounter what some would call Super Fans. This “fandom” can start as benign, harmless, flattering, and even endearing. Fans seek and/or crave a connection between themselves and the one they admire. They often offer tremendous support and can be the best cheerleaders of a creative’s work.

As complementary as that can be, there is a dark side to this so-called celebrity fandom universe. What starts out as a base of fans can quickly deteriorate into something more sinister. Something that hides in the belly of the beast. Admiration can quickly turn into behavior that could be perceived as an obsession.

This obsession is what gives rise to stalkers.

Obsession can escalate into desperation, especially if recognition of the stalker is not obtained from the celebrity in question. In this scenario, the celebrity can quickly become the victim. It is tragically true that there is danger involved when others know you, but you don’t know them. One of the joys of being an author is interacting with people. Most people are benign and wonderful. They see you; they rush to you; they admire and commend you. Which is very gratifying and rewarding on its own accord. However, in some situations, others resent and watch; they harass and stalk…and then they strike, seemingly out of nowhere.

Stalker behavior is very insidious.

I use the word insidious on purpose. It is defined as something that starts off slowly and subtly. It implies a hidden or gradual development that is difficult to detect until the effects are significant. The deceptive quality may appear harmless or even attractive at first, but it often has harmful intentions or consequences. *

On the other hand, stalking is a pattern of behavior that presents repeated, unwanted attention, harassment, or contact directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for their safety or the safety of others or to experience substantial emotional distress. It can involve various actions, such as following, monitoring the internet or computer usage (cyberstalking), spying, sending unwanted messages, or making threats. *

It’s more than intrusive and is very dangerous!

The insidious nature of a stalker, even cyberstalkers (the worst kind), is just that. A gradual intrusion into places where they are not wanted - the victims personal space. It causes their victim to be on guard, watchful, and protective. It is particularly noisome if the stalker is an ex-significant other. These are the most dangerous kinds of stalkers. A double form of domestic abuse, if you will.

These people lie in wait for an opportunity to connect through correspondence or face-to-face encounters. Stalkers follow or surveil their victims in the hopes of being acknowledged or, worse, to cause harm. Oftentimes, they will attempt to take success away by using smear campaigns to tarnish their victim’s reputation or make the victim miserable with constant harassment. This way, the sole focus shifts to the stalker. It demands constant vigilance on the part of the victim, 24 hours a day, all day long. A victim who has no idea when the next attack will occur. An exhausting experience! No longer is the victim able to focus on their career. They live in fear of the next encounter. Creativity is impacted if not stymied. Nights are long, and the lack of sleep is constant. The stalker knows this.

This is the stalker’s “reward.”

Stalkers can be strangers, but most are people we might know. According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, about 16.2% (1 in 6 women) have experienced stalking in their lifetime. Also 5.2% (1 in 19 men) are victims, but most are women. The impact can have profound psychological and emotional consequences, including anxiety, depression, and fear for safety. The percentages for domestic violence are far greater. *

Much has been written about this unfortunate side of success. We’ve all heard the sad tales of celebrity encounters that ended badly at the hands of a deranged person. Even Presidents have been victims of stalker attacks, which they have narrowly escaped.

Not only are stalkers deranged, they are delusional.

Unless they are arrested, find another victim, or worse, stalkers never go away. There are no laws to protect those in the public eye or, in other words, those in the public arena. Creatives do everything they can to promote their work or highlight an achievement through social media platforms. However, that promotional attempt places them in the public sphere and puts them at risk of danger. Those who seek other forms of fame are mildly aware of the possibility of being stalked, but never in their wildest dreams did they ever foresee a deranged/delusional person coming after them for blood.

They unwittingly have entered the danger zone.

Then along comes someone (stalker) who couldn’t ‘make it’ and resents the success or fame of another. It hurts. Instead of looking inward at their own failings, they look outward and misdirect their failure onto a figure that represents so much of who they long to be. Good luck getting protection from the law or those in authority. Some say it’s just tough luck. That you’re the one who’s decided to put yourself out there and in harm’s way. Others will take action, thank goodness, but the victim often feels as if they’re on their own. The lack of support from friends or family who “victim-blame” is crushing.

Creatives have the right to create. Stalkers don’t have the right to stalk.

A long time ago, I was asked to write about this subject. To somehow help bring awareness to the epidemic of domestic abuse and stalking. I suppose I have in some posts and themes in my books. But, ultimately, I am just a writer trying to tell a story that I hope others will enjoy.

Stalkers are scary.

As an author, this dilemma is very rare, so there’s no need for concern. I am not Stephen King; however, nor J.K. Rowling. I don’t have an entourage of protection around me. However, I am protected. Steps have been taken to counter any attacks for my own safety. But this post is not about me. This post explores the darker aspects of fame and quasi-fame. One that should be talked about and not hidden in the dark recesses—

Where stalkers hide.

~DaMarie

Photo Courtesy of Dustin Tramel

* Paraphrased from Google AI Overview.

For more on how to stay safe from Domestic Abuse and to understand Stalker Behavior, please click on the links below. If you or anyone you know is in danger from an abuser or stalker, please contact authorities for protection immediately. Local Domestic Abuse Hotlines are also good resources for information. There is help. You are not alone.

Title IX and Stalking:

https://www.goldenwestcollege.edu/titleix/stalking

https://titleix.gwu.edu/understanding-stalking-recognizing-signs-and-seeking-support

https://www.ed.gov/laws-and-policy/civil-rights-laws/title-ix-and-sex-discrimination

https://www.clerycenter.org/title-ix

https://www.stalkingawareness.org/

https://ovc.ojp.gov/topics/stalking

https://www.cdc.gov/intimate-partner-violence/about/about-stalking.html

Domestic Abuse and Why Women Stay:

https://www.wholewellnesstherapy.com/post/on-abusive-relationships-how-they-start-why-we-stay

https://esewrites.medium.com/psychological-abuse-101-the-no-1-reason-women-stay-in-abusive-relationships-ef4d3657f3a7

https://www.womenslaw.org/safety-planning/safety-tips-stalking-victims