The Power of “No”
The ability to say “N0” and mean it, is a powerful thing.
The word itself elicits a
strong emotion, not easy to forget, as most powerful emotions tend to do. It
has staying power for as long as your conviction last. Don’t believe me, ask a
two-year-old who likes to use this word strongly and often.
We use our voices
for a lot of things, and this word, the opposite of “yes,” is not used as often
as it should be. Which is a shame, I think.
I wonder if we’ve overused the yes word so much so that we’ve forgotten about the all-powerful, no.
“No, I won’t allow
you to do that (to me, to him, to us) ….”
“No, I will not
drink then drive.”
“No, I will not
allow you to use me.”
“No, I will not
let you know my secrets if I don’t know you well.”
“No, you cannot
leave this house looking like that and still live under my roof.”
“No, you can’t
have any more sugar today.”
“No, … on and on ad infinitum.”
You get the picture.
The Ten
Commandments were written for a reason and are full of no’s. These are not suggestions. These laws were
written concisely, and they tell us what to do to walk in the righteousness of God. That is, if
we want to see His kingdom when our time on earth is done.
I will admit to succumbing to the
much-maligned female frailty of saying yes, far too often when I should have
said no. I can only wonder what my life would have looked like if that were not the case. Oh well, I digress.
Sadly, the world
seems full of yes’s (if that’s a word). Have we allowed so much of saying “yes” out of fear that saying otherwise will often cast us as the galactic naysayer of our
generation? Well, I’ll take that risk. I think we need to raise our voices to
say more no’s. I want my power back. I want to embrace the spirit of the
naysayer and use my voice to point out what is wrong and what I will and will not allow to
guide my life decisions.
Saying no gives us strength and empowers us to set boundaries. It sets limits on what we
can and can’t do. It also tells others how to behave and treat us. It gives us the
power to control our paths in life. It can also repair and correct what has
been broken in our lives if anything. Knowing when to say no is the hallmark of self-worth.
It gives voice and says, “This is who I am.” No, might be a harsh word for some to hear. But some people need a reminder that life isn’t full of yes all the time and doing what one wants without impunity does have consequences. Disappointments abound and while it may be hard to get used to being told “No,” having heard this early enough in life can bring about much-needed coping skills when disappointments occur. And they will—believe me!
We can’t be nice
all the time, as much as we would like to be. However, saying no and being tough
when needed are hard skills to master. But the rewards are well worth
the effort.
~DaMarie
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Saying 'No' to a child, a friend, a boss is a conviction and must be consistent. I am Delia and as a mother, saying no was like stepping into a minefield. Up to the age of 12, no was followed by stomping or crying. Saying no to teens is another story. They were 6'2" and I am 5'4". Days of glaring and silence. I never let up and in the weeks to come, they understood why I said no. But those first few days were hard not to give in! 'No' can actually be a blessing.
ReplyDeleteVery well said. Thanks Delia!!!!
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