His Truth/Her Truth: THE TRUTH

 

TRUTH vs. FACT

For this post, I use the word lie, untruth, and variations of these words interchangeably and on purpose. It’s done for effect because lies cause entangled webs of confusion. So, without getting into specifics instances, I’d like to speak generally about the rise of his/her truth.

So let the show begin.

Lately, I’ve heard a lot about ‘truth.’ But, what is truth? Well,…these days, we’re often told that it’s ‘his truth or her truth.’ I wonder if anyone’s interested in the facts anymore? Fact = Truth. Right?

Well, not so fast.

I’ve published many blog posts about, and around, the issue of truth and the BIG LIE, to read this post, please click here. But unfortunately, not stating facts and/or hiding them under the guise of my/his/her truth is getting annoying and wearing a bit thin. Attorney’s and politicians lie all the time, or so I’m told. The jokes about this are not exactly thigh-slapping worthy, but humorous nonetheless. And no, I’m not about to go sideways to include thespians (actors/actresses) who tell untruths for a living, either. For the sake of argument, that just seems silly.

To say, ‘this is my truth’ is to say this is my experience or what I know, which is fine on its face. However, it’s been proven that eyewitness testimony isn’t always reliable. So, why do we take, at face value, someone who tells us this is the truth, just because they say it’s ‘their truth’? Does that present the truth as fact? Maybe, maybe not. It’s a head-scratcher for sure. 

Let’s look closer, shall we?

In our lifetime, we’ve all told untruths (white lies in this instance) at least once or twice. It’s ok as long as it causes no harm. Be it age, hair color, height, or weight, we do it – ALL the time. However, it doesn’t excuse untruths told to benefit oneself at the detriment of another. In other words, if my truth is misleading or gives misinformation, which causes harm to another, it’s no longer truth but a big fat lie.

Take this scenario for instance: Each day, when I go for a walk with my dog, a man constantly harasses me for no reason, just for doing so. Isn’t that awful? That’s my truth. But it’s the biggest fib I could tell! The fact of the matter is that yes, I walk my dog each day. And while walking, my dog poops on this one particular lawn belonging to a man who yells at me. His yard has developed yellow spots of dead grass because of my unwillingness to pick up after my dog, which in the neighbor’s mind is disrespectful to him and his property. But I’ve told otherwise all in the name of ‘my truth.’

Telling half-truths have become an art.

We’ve gotten good at it. Now, we hear untruths all the time, and maybe we’ve become numb to them. Why else would we glorify criminal activity? We don’t bother to decipher truth from fact, nor do we even bother. It’s too much trouble, and much of it doesn’t seem worthy of our time anyway. We just accept it as fact. But why? Why would anyone, who seems earnest in his delivery, tell a big whopper? We tell ourselves, ’why would anyone lie to us?’ Maybe we should ask a better question: who do we think we are that they won’t lie to us? There are so many psychological reasons for this, I can’t begin to name.  

I’m no expert, but to read more about this from the Paul Ekman Group and their take on microaggression, please click here.  Also, to read from Psych Central, please click here.

To touch on a few of these reasons, of course we lie to get away with things we don’t want others to know. However, to make the lie believable, we tell half the truth (see walking the dog scenario). Then when faced with the facts, we use the throwaway line of ‘it’s my truth.’ Whose truth is that exactly? It’s not true if it’s a lie, so who do we think we’re fooling? Worse, if pushed back on, we covet the lie so much we want to justify it. This makes no sense to the rational mind. But bare with me.

We lie to hide and protect.

Another reason I believe people lie, is to hide facts when faced with the consequences of their actions. Children do this all the time. Little Johnny will never admit he broke the vase when the evidence is overwhelming to the contrary. It may have been an accident, as innocent as the day is long. But he sees it as something terrible, and the punishment is too much to face, so he lies. Which only makes matters worse, and the cycle continues.

I have been privy to witness the best liars inside a boardroom. I knew the truth and sat with mouth agape at the blatant lies spewing forth from the mouths of people who should know better. I wanted to stand and genuflect in their presence; the performance was that good. Pure perfection, if not downright nauseating. I knew I had better not get on their wrong side because if so, the undermining of any efforts to defend myself would not stand a chance when faced with their seemingly natural ability to lie.

We lie to hide/manipulate facts, particularly if the truth presents a different outcome unfavorable to us. This is especially apparent when using our current form of social mediums. We Tweet, use Instagram, Tumbler, and text things we would never say otherwise if standing face to face with an adversary. We are empowered to do or say the outrageous. And, based on the tremendous number of ‘likes’ and ‘followers,’ it gives some the sense that they know more than the average, which isn’t necessarily valid. Unless they’re an expert in the subject matter, it’s about liking the content, not that they have an exceptionally high IQ. Some misguided souls tell themselves they can even manipulate history, which is the end goal of lying. So, his/her truth is very kin to her/his story (history). To quote Thomas Sowell, Philosopher and Economist, ‘‘Intellect is not wisdom.’’

Now, a little about the truth.

I can’t say that truth-telling is all dead. Is lying a condition we tolerate when faced with another option; telling the truth all the time? Well, no. Lying, like truth, has its virtue. How anyone felt about you, used to be an unknown. Ignorance was bliss, but not anymore. I’ve heard someone say that people love to be bamboozled and BS’d with a sprinkle of glitter, for good measure. It’s entertainment. Otherwise, life would be boring. Give me a lie any day when I need the confidence to slay an interview, ask for a bank loan, vie for a promotion, etcetera, all without knowing my shoes were a different color when doing so. But do tell the truth if it safeguards my well-being, and has some regard for my intelligence. If it enhances my life, that’s a bonus! 

I think you get my meaning.

We can boast and pretend to be many things when we hide behind our electronic screens. Twitter and cyber wars are the rage and occur when the harbingers of so-called truth ironically don’t anticipate push back when faced with facts. Unfortunately, even when facts are presented, they might be ignored because of the previously mentioned ‘covet’ factor of his/her truth, a la fact-checking groups.

Does cognitive dissonance come to mind?

Ah...y’all. I have to say, lying has become one of my many pet peeves and one I can’t easily brush aside or ignore. Especially if one lies when the truth would do just fine.

Today, we face a slew of untruths, misdirection, misinformation, and propaganda. All under the guise of truth used for political talking points. Somehow FACTS, have taken a backseat, and that’s a shame.  Nowadays, the facts of a matter cannot be written or even spoken about out loud.

Does censorship come to mind?

The Bible has a beautiful book that teaches the virtues of truth; John. It is my favorite because it speaks of shining a light into darkness. For John, truth is the light. I’m no theologian, but I do believe the right arm of truth — is fact. 

When seeking truth, I hope we don’t forget to search for facts. 

~ DaMarie

Photo Courtesy of Oksana Manych