The Cry Heard 'round the World

 

REALLY Meghan?!

“How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is than to have a thankless child?” From Shakespeare’s King Lear.

Are they gone yet? No? Well, allow me to weigh in to ask…WTH is wrong with Meghan Markle? Or Harry Windsor, for that matter. There is so much to unpack with this duo. I hope you stay with me until the end of this post as I try to delve into the reasons behind their behavior, the allegations of racism, and mental health. Taking a broad overview, these are my thoughts, and I hope, the last I will need to post in speaking of this British Prince and his wayward wife. So take a deep breath, people, here we go.

I admit to being an Anglophile.

Have been since high school when I researched the life and death of Lady Jane Grey. For years I have followed as much news about the British Royal Family as I could. I have studied the history, the social mores, the protocol, etc., but by far, I’m no expert by any means. I have watched the royal weddings from Diana and Charles to Beatrice and Edorado. I have been swept away by the pageantry, intrigue, scandals, and triumphs of the House of Windsor (nee: Saxe-Coburg and Gotha) and immersed myself in European history as a whole.

I have been fascinated by the tiers of society,  the why of it and the reason behind its existence. The Aristocracy, of which the Royal Family is a part, don’t operate the way you and I do. Their way of handling things, behavior, etiquette, lifestyle may seem stuffy and arcane; even the mantra of ‘don’t complain, never explain’ doesn’t sit well with most of us, nor should it. Theirs is a world all their own that has been created and welcomed for centuries. They embody the whole of Britain, and its people love them for it, at least most of the members of the Commonwealth do – but that’s another story. Love them or hate them; theirs is a long-established institution, and the good works done for the Commonwealth nations they protect and serve, deserves respect. 

It can be argued that our American culture is somewhat different than that of the British, but not by much. When it comes to the monarchy, that culture can clash in a big way. But what a wasted opportunity Meghan had to lessen that clash. To embrace the whole of what it meant to be ‘royal’ and carry on the traditions with elegance, class, and aplomb has been lost. Other considered ‘outsiders’ have managed to do this without much fuss at all. History is replete with examples of Americans who have married into the nobility of British houses. The most famous of these is Consuelo Vanderbilt (Consuelo Spencer-Churchill, Duchess of Marlboro), Jenny Jerome (Lady Randolph Churchill-Spencer, the mother of Winston Churchill). Then there is Catherine Wendell (Countess of Carnarvon, whose story of which Downton Abbey is based), Kathleen Kennedy (Kathleen Cavendish Marchioness of Harrington, sister of John F. Kennedy), and so on. There have also been many American actresses who’ve married into houses of the nobility and the monarchy, such as Rita Hayworth (Princess Aly Khan), Gene Tierney (Countess Oleg Cassini Loiewski), Grace Kelly (Princess of Monaco), and Julie Montagu (Viscountess Hinchingbrooke), to name a few. As for women of color, you need to look no further than Philippa of Hainault (Queen consort to King Edward III, mother of Edward the Black Prince), Sophia Charlotte of Mecklenburg -Strelitz (Queen consort to King George III), Emma Thynn McQuiston (Marchioness of Bath) and Angela Gisele Brown (Princess Angela of Liechtenstein). See below for further reading.

List of American Heiresses married to nobility

Philippa of Hainault

Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz

Black British Royalty, 3 women who paved the way

What a shame that Meghan Markel seemingly could not grasp the concept of the magnitude bestowed on her when she became a member of this elite class of women. With all of this said, I am saddened to see the effect Prince Harry’s marriage has had on the House of Windsor. Along with millions of others who watched Harry and Meghan’s wedding in May of 2018 and the joy it brought along with the anticipation of greater things to come, was a wonderful experience. However, I was bewildered at the developing story and the fodder for gossip that fed tabloid headlines.

What’s not to like? Right? I couldn't figure it out. A beautiful woman of color, to be sure, a former actress who had ambitions to commit herself to service, sounded too good to be true. But I, like others, were confounded by Meghan’s behavior, which we saw live on camera. The leaked stories of her ‘behind the scene’ antics are rumored to be atrocious. Curiosities started to dominate the pair as they went about their charity work, i.e., how did Guy the Beagle break both his front legs? How did they really meet, how old is she really, why would Meghan make Kate cry for goodness sake, why does she constantly seek the attention of cameras, what’s up with the yacht pictures, and why does her belly bump grow and shrink all in one day while pregnant, not to mention sway in the wind when she walks. The secrecy and playing hide-n-seek with the birth of their son, and afterward, invited even more questions and speculations. The constant belly cupping was borderline distasteful at best, and let’s not mention the creepy cosplay of mimicking Princess Diana’s outfits, down to the color, cut, and attitude. Her disdain for the protocol in dress and behavior is legendary. Her seemingly complete lack of respect for the Realm was caught in full view for all to see. Then came the tabloid lawsuits and one suit over a letter to her father. Then the bombshell announcement of stepping back from royal duties for privacy, which turned out to be not so private after all.

What’s going on here?

Now granted, this is all petty conjecture and highly suspicious in the way of gossip. I urge you do your own research because there is much which can be found to support the reason for these questions and allegations. The British papers are notorious for printing outlandish and horrible things about celebrities. It exhibits particular malice towards members of the royal family. Meghan is not exempt from this treatment. Not saying that this is right, but she could have risen above it. She chose to do otherwise.

Or is this a cry for help?

During Meghan’s interview with Oprah, if it wasn’t for the race card and the revelation of mental illness, I would consider this a sad saga on family dynamics. But Meghan went there, and the effect was like an exploding grenade. At this juncture, racism seemed an expedient excuse and a ruse of deflection from her own behavior and lack of decorum when it came to traditions of the monarchy. Compared to her disgraceful behavior, she makes a mockery of crying racism. Racism directed at her and her child, so much so that she wanted to commit suicide! Really?! The admission of wanting to end your life through self infliction should have been given more focus, but it seems to have been glossed over in light of the charge of racism. Racial issues and the thought of committing suicide are no laughing matter. Wanting to end your life should be taken seriously. Very seriously. On the other hand, both these issues should not be used in the most spectacular way, as weapons to seemingly punish those we feel have wronged us. So which is it? Are we to believe that she is a victim driven to madness wanting to harm herself and end her life? Or, what is more popular, to believe that this is a ruse? Well, not so fast. I’ve heard the word Narcissism thrown around when it comes to describing Meghan’s behavior. I don’t know if this is the case, but something clearly seems wrong and deserves a closer look.

The cry for help is loudest when no one hears you.

Meghan and Harry cried loudly, using so much word salad, about invasive personal space, inability to ‘thrive,’ and lack of privacy. This was the reason given for stepping away from their royal duties, ergo the royal family. Instead of crying, now they complain (‘whinge’ to use the British vernacular) about the lack of security, financial support, and yes, more invasion of privacy. BUT, isn’t this what comes with forging their own way in the world without the trappings of royalty? Yet, at the same time, they seemingly court publicity, allegedly setting up paparazzi shots. Meghan never stopped scouring for acting parts in Hollywood, allegedly at Disney, Hallmark, or partnering with Netflix. Then they wonder why the family will not speak with them. Cutting them off out of embarrassment, perhaps, or not trusting any conversation will be kept confidential given their penchant for publicity? Who knows, but now I’m confused more than ever. 

To whom so much is given, much is expected.

Since their interview with Oprah, so much has come to light that contradicts their accounts of mistreatment. You can argue Oprah’s culpability in manipulating what was divulged, but that’s not my focus. Harry does not escape scrutiny here. He is as culpable, if not more so, and should know better. The arrogance to think that we can be fooled so easily is astounding. Doesn’t Harry know the history of title bestowment? Shouldn’t he know the protocols of behavior and the coaching one receives when joining the royal family? Shouldn’t he know his racial heritage and complicated DNA? More importantly, surely Harry could have sought mental help for his wife when it was sorely needed. He even headed a foundation for mental health called ‘Heads Together’ along with his brother and sister-in-law, for goodness sake! Not long ago, he and Meghan dabbled in giving advice on mental health, establishing a website and call line for those in need. Then he has the temerity to say that he was embarrassed to ask for mental assistance for his wife. Please! For all the privileges Harry’s been given and born into, to cast it aside for the moral high ground of ‘wokeness’ should be beneath him. I can appreciate the need to forge your own path, but to trash the family and institution that has given so much is despicable. If mental help was needed and if true, to seemingly neglect your wife is worse. Since the Oprah interview, it would be nice to know if help was finally sought and attained for Meghan, but we haven’t been told, and are left to speculate. 

To paraphrase Shakespeare, ‘Ah, therein lies the rub.’

These people are grownups, thirty-six and forty-something, not twelve years old. It’s very easy to say that this is the behavior of petulant children in need of a stern talking to, but adults behaving this way is disturbing. Without looking deeper, it’s very easy to say that theirs was an opportunity to take the reins and create a more inclusive environment for all people. As representatives of Britain, this was an opportunity to partner with charities to do good works and bring people together, not divide us through cheap displays of childish behavior and whining when they have so much. However flawed it might be, an opportunity to stand behind the monarchy was essential. To support that institution in bringing about a change within the system and continue to do good works was paramount. Instead of objectifying Harry’s mother, Diana, they could have done many things to continue her work, embracing the concept of still waters running deep. Yes, it’s very easy to say that they missed an opportunity to do a great many things, but I fear there’s more at work here. 

I’m left with more questions than answers. 

However this turns out is not for me to judge. As an American, I will offer an opinion on an American who married into royalty. Her cry for mental help and not receiving it is tragic. Her disgraceful display of rudeness, greed, manipulation, and selfish attention to her own needs, and not those of others, casts a shadow on all Americans, especially American women of color. Sad to say. To instigate the destruction of the institution of the British monarchy with American progressive ‘wokeism,’ instead of looking deep inside oneself, is a bridge too far for most to accept.

Racism is not the issue here. Unfortunately, I fear mental health and their behavior is.

~ DaMarie

Photo Courtesy of Stephanie LeBlanc