Gift of the Heavy Cross

 

The Crosses We Bear

 

This holiday I am reminded of the crosses we bear in life. In my opinion, some crosses are incredibly light, while others are heavy indeed. The cross I speak of is borne out of guilt, regret, unrequited love, shame, unfulfilled dreams… you know the rest. It's that something of which we have longed to do but  never did, something we have always wanted to achieve but couldn’t, some measure of mettle we’ve wanted but lacked the desire to attain, some shortcoming to overcome, but for some reason could not.

Crosses can be heavy, but I think it’s all relative.

Some people meet challenges in life and forge ahead regardless of the task. Some people don’t give a rip about the difficult path that lies ahead and soldiers onward. Some people see mountains as mere stepping stones, which are nothing for them to go around or climb over, metaphorically speaking. Some people can cope better than others, and I commend them.

Others of us struggle. We struggle because we want the best. We struggle because we want our lives to be as perfect as can be. We struggle because we can’t accept the mediocre. We struggle because we feel that others have let us down. We struggle because we just don’t want to believe…in ourselves. We struggle because we cannot accept that life is a struggle. But it doesn’t have to be. As they say, ‘we must play the cards we’re dealt’ and play as best we can. 

But, how do we accept the day-to-dayness of ‘struggle?’

We can start now. At this time of holiday giving and receiving, we can accept that we are blessed in so many ways. That is if we choose to accept this perspective. Life is hard and not fair in many respects, but neither is it dreadful in other aspects. For instance, there's no need to feel guilty over imagined wrongs; apologize, and move on. Life’s too short for regrets. If you know you’ve done your best, don’t dwell on the proverbial what should/could have been(s). Your best may not have been great, but at least you tried, and that what’s best. Never live your life for others. Be your authentic self; love yourself, embrace yourself and once you do, it's surprising how others will come to you. Maybe the love of your life just wasn’t meant for you. If he/she were, you wouldn’t have to wonder, now would you? Never allow someone to make you feel ashamed; it’s a sin for them to do so, and not for you to accept. Guilty maybe, but ashamed, never! It’s good to have dreams of a better life. Never let them go, and if they’re not fulfilled, at least you could dream when so many do not. Work as hard as you can for the rewards you seek. It may not mean a six-figure salary, but it gives purpose to your life, making life worth living. 

These are just a few ways of accepting our lot in life. Perspective is everything. Of course, all of this is easier said than done, right? In that regard, I'm reminded of a bible passage which states:   

...it is well for a man to eat and drink and enjoy all the fruits of his labor under the sun during the limited days of the life which God gives him; for this is his lot. Any man to whom God gives riches and property, and grants power to partake of them, so that he receives his lot and finds joy in the fruits of his toil, has a gift from God. For he will hardly dwell on the shortness of his life, because God lets him busy himself with the joy of his heart. ~ Ecclesiastes 5:17-18.

For further information on this concept, please click the reference links below.

Accepting your reality

Accepting life rather than resisting

So why am I telling you this?

I say this as a gift. Remember, all is not as it seems for those who feel down during this time of year. As forlorn and unhappy we may feel, at least that feeling lets us know we’re alive. Alive to live another day to make things happen, improve our outlook, and accept that sometimes, this is all we get. If we get more, it’s a blessing; until then, enjoy and make the most of what we have. Our Lord, Jesus Christ, was given to us by the grace of God to die for our sins. As we celebrate His birth, remember that He carried His cross because it was time for Him to do so, and so shall ours be. But, through His grace and love, our travail will not be long once we've laid down our cross due to perseverance, a positive outlook, and acceptance.     

A cross is not a curse. It’s a reminder that life is meant to be lived with all its joys and sorrows. So step bravely into all the wonderful tomorrows to come, with gratitude and thanks. Know that the cross we bear is only that which becomes lighter in weight as we move through the life we have chosen to live.

Have a Very Merry Christmas!

~DaMarie

From my book Looking In from Outside: Poetry & Prose, titled “The Crosses We Bear.”

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