A mother had two sons whom
she loved equally, but her life was full of strife. One son basked in the love
the mother bestowed. The other son, full of hate, felt unloved and hated the
mother for reasons she could not understand. No matter what the mother did, the
other son felt scorn and berated the mother until her heart was sore. This went
on until the sons grew older and had lives of their own.
One day the mother fell
ill and unexpectedly died. The neighbors knew of the mother’s vain attempts to
reconcile with her hateful son. Many days she would lament the sorrow she felt
because of this failure. They witnessed the many tears she shed over the pain
this discourse caused her. Of the loving son, she had no complaints. However,
they were amazed at what they saw in the countenance of the sons upon her
passing.
The loving son who
received the mother’s love with open arms was serene. He spoke of the
love his mother bestowed upon him and how grateful he was for the time he had
spent with her and she with him. He spoke of the joy she brought to his life
and the many days of motherly talk and counsel. And although he would miss her
deeply, he was grateful to have been her son and to have the time with her that
he did.
The hateful son was
inconsolable. He cried bitter tears, which no one could understand. This son,
who outwardly hated his mother, cried as if the world had crashed around him. This
son, who many days wished his mother dead, was now bereft in grief. No one
understood this behavior and had to inquire. When asked about this strange
behavior over the loss of someone whom he despised, his only response was, “Who
will I hate now that she is gone.”
His tears were not for
the loss of someone he loved dearly. His tears were for the loss of an object
of hate. Without that, his life had no purpose. Without an object to hate, he
was lost. His bitter tears were for himself and himself, alone.
I heard this story from an unknown source. In the re-telling, I hope I’ve gotten it right. The story is as old as Cain and Able. The age-old tale of jealousy and resentment that one had for the other still permeates our lives. What does a man do when the object of his hate no longer exists? Does he find himself in despair, not knowing where to turn or what to do? Does he find another object to hate? Does he lick his wounds and move on?
Who knows.
This story came to me after the results of the presidential election. I see parallels as we ask ourselves the ‘why’ of hate or its origins, for that matter. For most of us outside looking in, it's hard to understand the pathology of unmitigated hate and fear when there is no cause for such vitriol. In our elected officials or among ourselves, our personal feelings should remain in check.
I have tried to remain ambiguous in my political
affiliation when posting during these socially charged times. I feel that shining a light on the truth
when I can, is all I can do in providing information to research on your own. Of course I am no psychiatrist, but I have a hard time trying to understand such behavior. I felt a need explore and speak out about such an extreme emotion, as hate. The why of it and the fear it can bring. The bible teaches us how to treat each other, more so because God
divinely lives within us.
Hatred can strike fear in a man's soul.
I think the answer to
hatred of this magnitude is fear, jealousy, greed, and power. We see this manifested in the hatred perpetrated on our nation because of what
we have versus what other countries feel they do not. I’ve heard it said that love and hate
are two sides of the same coin. So are black and white, good and evil, life and
death, positive and negative, yes and no, ad infinitum. The opposite in
extremes is worthy of note.
Why is that?
The
opposite of love is not hate, its indifference. ~ Elie Wiesel, American Writer and Nobel Peace
Prize winner (1928 – 2016)
Hate in and of itself can be argued as an emotion with no opposite, so strong is its effect. After all, to have hate in your heart means there are feelings involved on some level. Can hate turn
into indifference? I think not. Hate is hate. Other forms of this word, used as
a verb or noun, speaks of emotions that run very deep.
In
politics, love is a stranger, and when it intrudes upon it, nothing is being
achieved except hypocrisy. ~ Hannah
Arendt in her letter to James Baldwin (November 21, 1962)
Well, I suppose this is true. Hypocrisy is evident when we see our government officials do one thing and ask that we do another. Then have the temerity to expect us to respect them because of this hypocrisy. Showing contempt is a close cousin to hate, don't you know.
Can we apply the concept of contempt to our fellow man, just as other nations feel toward America? I think so; I've seen it. Not being worthy of our anger, we show contempt. Beyond that, as previously stated, we hate them for what they have because we have not. Be it resources, power, money, fame, material possessions, perceived social advantages, or just being thought of as better, brings out the spit and vinegar. So we discriminate, besmirch, bully, slander, abuse, steal, take over, or do anything we can to bring ruin to our perceived object of hate.
Of course, this post is not intended to explore all avenues of fear and hate. In this post, my opinion is only the tip of the iceberg, and as we know, there is so much more underneath which we cannot see. But suffice to say that hateful behavior can only bring grief in all its infamous glory. Hate can quickly give rise to racism, classism, and other 'isms. But again that is not the topic of this post, but something to think about. For more information on the concept of hate, please reference the link below:
We fear what we don’t understand.
Fear and hate often go hand in hand, not one without the other. Let's think about that for a minute. Like hate, fear can be irrational. Fear of the unknown can cause bias and beliefs in the boogieman. Don’t like spiders and snakes? Maybe it’s because we don’t understand them, which causes fear to manifest. A healthy amount of fear keeps us safe, but unfounded fear is dangerous and can lead to hatred. Unfortunately, it’s unfounded fear that causes a loss of sleep and questions the ability to accurately judge another man’s character. The fear of losing can cause some to take drastic actions.
What drives us to believe what we do of our fellow man? Did the hateful son hate because he wanted more than the love his mother could give? If she gave more, would it have been enough? Did he fear her love and, in doing so, allowed hate to grow? Like the son, will our officials wallow in despair when their object of hate is gone? Or, will their hatred turn to another or in another direction? Will our nation heal from the hateful seeds it has sown?
Hate can drive men to madness. Hate can take away a man’s soul. I hope we are not slaves to hate. I hope for a better tomorrow where hate is softened into awareness of mistakes, and an acceptance of wrongdoing gives way to forgiveness. I hope we can find our way back to doing what is right with respect and love.
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