Dunk and Egg - Betrayal and Cruelty

 

In praise of ‘Dunk and Egg’—The Art of Betrayal and Cruelty

Hello friends. I’m back. Well, January 2026 started off with a bang! I hope and pray that February will be more promising, with less chaos, more trust, and fewer hurt feelings as we move through the rest of the year. Wow!

We all have them, feelings I mean. Most animals do, and after all, we’re only human. What does it mean to have ‘feelings’? I don’t mean the kind that alludes to vague or irrational beliefs, touch or intuition, but the emotional state of reaction. What are those emotions that spontaneously bubble up, be they to lash out or to embrace? The ‘knee-jerk’ reaction to a perceived slight, rudeness, or misunderstanding?

Feelings are an elusive concept of emotions that can be manipulated by the likes of the narcissists among us. We’ve all heard or are aware of the insidious nature of narcissism. The term is overused, I grant it, but like bipolar, it is nevertheless one behavioral trait to be aware of. Those who gaslight, use Machiavellian tactics, blame-shift, and frankly have not grown up, even beyond the age of 60+, are toxic. We find ourselves dealing with these behaviors to the point where we have to learn new coping skills, for goodness sake!

The skill of ignoring bad behavior to protect our feelings is hard to do. There is an art to it. 

And with that said, I feel compelled to speak about an HBO series that ties into this issue. I’m sure most of us are aware of the highly successful HBO series Game of Thrones. Based on the books and novellas written by George R.R. Martin. In the prequel, House of the Dragon, two hundred years prior to Game of Thrones, we are immersed in the lives of the ruling House Targaryen, who are ruthless in their quest for power and their use of many dragons. Both series are well-produced, and the special effects are really special. Game of Thrones stands out for its movie-house production quality and breadth of narrative, with an outstanding cast of characters and a strong protagonist—Jon Snow.

However, as good as they are, there is another Targaryen family story that lies in the ‘middle’ of these two time frames, called A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, another novella by George R. R. Martin. In this narrative, we are introduced to Ser Duncan the Tall and his small squire named ‘Egg.’ Ser Duncan, or Dunk, is a tall (hence the name) lumbering freelance knight, or hedge knight, who is poor, owns no lands, and is not allegiant to any king. He aspires to be a chivalrous champion knight who excels at the game of jousting. His squire, Egg, is small, very young, mysterious, knowledgeable, and endearingly cute. Their relationship is based on trust and a common need to feel worthwhile, to prove themselves not only to the medieval world they live in, but to each other.

Of all the Game of Thrones series franchises, I think THIS one is the very best. It is quirky, bawdy, and offers a more humorous, grounded story, away from the previous politics and dragon battles. I mention it in this post because, for me, it illustrates the full complexity of human interaction at its purest. You see, beyond the treachery and betrayal, you also witness the heartbreakingly realistic portrayal of an unlikely friendship between Dunk and Egg. They want to fit in, be liked, and offer the full measure of who they are while skirting political games. I fell in love with the character of Dunk, and especially Egg, who is portrayed by the most adorable young actor of his generation.

This series illustrates the art of betrayal and cruelty inflicted on those who least expect it, and, for those who do, how to cope. What do you do when you are at your lowest, and have nothing left to give when faced with cruel acts or those who betray you?

You find the courage to stand up and be counted. Alone, yes, but with integrity intact.

How much effort does it take to be cruel or betray those who trust us? Not much. It’s actually a very lazy and deliberate act. As humans, we are taught to share and play nicely with others. Please and thank you are words we have been taught to say in an effort to be polite. That’s what’s needed in a civilized society. Without decorum and politeness, we would end up in God knows what kind of chaotic society. It is, after all, human nature to be mean. We are taught otherwise. We are taught right from wrong.

It takes effort to care, be empathic, compassionate, and decent to one another.

I don’t know from what world self-centered cretins fall from, but when they land at your door, your office, or whatever playground you find yourself in, tread lightly and be aware. They will entice, they will seduce, they will engage you at all costs; that is their art. When cruelty occurs, very few of us have champions who will stand up for us. I suggest doing as Dunk and Egg have done: stand up for what is right and spit in the eyes of those who offend, if the need arises. But we must also humble ourselves before those we have offended and ask for forgiveness. It will be granted, I assure you.  

None of this is new. To be civil is an art in and of itself. Silence has its merits, but more importantly, so does solemnity.

~DaMarie

Photo Courtesy of Sobolev Maksim