Forgiveness Is Not Revenge

 

Forgiveness is Serious Business

So many of us are returning to God these days, and that’s a good thing. The churches are full once again, and it’s good to see and know. Apart from that, though, have you ever found yourself asking for forgiveness? Sometimes, for something you have no reason to ask forgiveness for? Saying “I’m sorry.” To appease or for no reason at all? Why do we do this? When should we actually ask forgiveness? 

Often, especially when we have done harm.

Asking forgiveness for redemption in the eyes of God is one thing, and takes courage. These ‘asks’ include: sins against God, wrongs against others, criminal or unethical behaviors, internal sins, and lingering bitterness.

To redeem others of wrongdoing is something only God can do, but forgiveness is ours. As Alexander Pope wrote in his “An Essay on Criticism,” “to err is human, to forgive is divine.” We all make mistakes; we’re only human, but showing mercy and forgiving others is a noble quality.

If you’ve ever wondered what the 4 R’s of forgiveness are, here’s the list*:

1. Responsibility: Acknowledging and taking full ownership of the harmful action without making excuses or blaming others.

2. Remorse: Showing genuine regret and sorrow for the pain caused, not just for getting caught.

3. Repair/Restoration: Making amends or trying to fix the damage done, which might involve restitution or another form of making things right.

4. Repeat (Don’t)/Renewal: Committing to not repeating the mistake and demonstrating changed behavior, leading to personal growth and renewal.

 

*Other versions might include Regret, Recognition, and Reflection as pathways to change. These steps are often used in the context of self-forgiveness and seeking forgiveness from others, helping individuals move past guilt and shame.

I hope this helps those in need of understanding.

~DaMarie

Photo Courtesy of Alex Shute