Here are some funny Christmas Quotes to keep your Spirits Bright. I've never heard of some of these people, but the quotes are funny and worthy of sharing. Enjoy!
"Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas." ~ Kin Hubbard
"Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard." ~ Andy Borowitz
"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph." ~ Shirley Temple
"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other." ~ Johnny Carson
"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall." ~ Larry Wilde
"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, 'toys not included.'" ~ Bernard Manning
"One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books." ~ J.K. Rowling
"You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights." ~ Maya Angelou
"There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?" ~ Conan O'Brien
"A Christmas miracle is when your family doesn’t get into a single argument all day." ~ Melanie White
"The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes." ~ Julius Sharpe
“I hate the radio this time of year because they play 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.” ~ Bridger Wingar
"Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit people only once a year." ~ Victor Borge
"What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present." ~ Don Marquis
"I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange." ~ Henny Youngman
"For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There's more than enough of that as it is - and people will usually just give it back anyway!" ~ Annie Bristow
"Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year's gifts." ~ Unknown
"Thank you, Stocking, for being a long flammable piece of fabric people love to hang over a roaring fireplace." ~ Jimmy Fallon
"Dear Santa, before I explain, how much do you know already?" ~ Unknown
"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." ~ Phyllis Diller
"You know what I got for Christmas? Fat!" ~ Unknown
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I'll drink the red." ~ Unknown
- But on a serious note -
"I wish we could put some of our Christmas spirit in jars and open one up every month." ~ Unknown
Photo Courtesy of Sheri Hooley
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